Happy Friday, minions!
I’ve received thousands of letters and emails recently asking me when I was going to follow in the footsteps of other celebrities and venture into the world of acting. Well, my droogs, your question is answered, as today I am enlisting the help of a world-renowned improv troupe to get me started on my way.
Unfortunately for y’all, it means that today’s missive from on high will be cut short. Don’t worry, we’ll get through this together, and to help I direct you to one of the first turtle actors to hit the big-time. Alas, his (unscripted) big moment, while left in the eventual final print, resulted in him being blackballed in the industry for the rest of his life.