Everyone who’s anyone knows yesterday was my birthday – the one year reunion of when everyone was graced with my presence and a reminder to how much better I am than a cat. I also share my birthday with two of the greatest artists of our times, though I’m kinda partial to the latter. I mean, he IS apparently saving the world one glass of water at a time, but since he’s not in charge of keeping a wayward office in line like some people, I guess he has the time.
In slightly bigger news, I have been charged with a new task. And by “new task” I mean, “Someone is out of their freaking mind and thinks I can find time in my booked schedule to do something that is absolutely beneath me.” Apparently, I am the new resident mouse catcher, which is RIDICULOUS.
So I googled mice, thinking I would find the little ratatouille version of adorableness. . .you know, food motivated, can cook things, and controls all humans in its vicinity. Those mice I can appreciate.
What I found was not fuzzy or adorable – mice are straight up ridiculous and icky. I’m all for equality and not judging based on wiki but FOR REALZ?! They climb things, crawl in tiny places, outrun cats, and are sneaky. Seriously, you want me to catch THAT?!
I’m all for diplomacy but THIS is not happening.