New Years is a time for reflection, where we make promises to ourselves that we have no intention to keep and encourage everyone around us to hold us accountable to absolutely nothing except copious amounts of champagne. This year is different. This year, I’m avoiding even the slightest of promises to eat better, save money (hey, ORA gives me a wicked monthly stipend) or generally treat others in a better manner.
This year, the world ends.
Don’t even pretend you’re freaking out about it because there’s no point. If the Aztecs/Mayans/[Folks Who Sacrificed People Instead Of Animals] say the world is ending, OBVIOUSLY it’s true. And it’s not like we haven’t had to cope with doomsday many times before. So, just chill, people. . .really.
So, thanks a lot, Mayans, for running out of room on your giant calendar of doom. I can only take solace in the hope that, when Humans v2.0 rummage through our remains, they think that your alleged “Super Developed Civilization” *wink wink* was really just a glorified amusement park for these things.